Chris Gordon's Blog

Rickie Lambert: Just how good is Southampton’s latest legend?

He wears the shirt of Matt Le Tiss... etc, etc, etc

The short answer is excellent. But the longer answer requires context and comparison.

At the beginning of this season many commentators asked whether Lambert was capable of making the step up to the Championship. After I saw him play live for the first time — on a cold, wet and windswept Friday night in Southend — I was in no doubt as to his talent. His success comes as no surprise to me and I imagine many Saints fans are similarly unsurprised that he’s on the verge of helping us to the Premiership.

But to better judge Lambert’s ability, it is best looked at in comparison to some previous attacking talents to have worn the red and white. They are: Derek Reeves, Martin Chivers, Ron Davies, Micky Channon, Kevin Keegan, Matt Le Tissier and Alan Shearer.

So lets look at the goals-to-game ratio in chronological order:

* Channon’s Saints career came in two spells.

For Rickie to top that table is an impressive feat. As always, however, stats tell only part of the picture. Aside from Keegan the others  played for longer and turned in more appearances. But the first four names on that list benefited from the services of Saints’ greatest wingers, John Sydenham on the left and Terry Paine on the right.

Though Rickie’s goals thus far have been scored in the second and third tiers of English football he is not alone. All of Reeves’ goals were scored in the Third Division,  most of Chivers’ came in the second, and Channon also spent time in the old Second Division with Saints, who were promoted in 1966 and relegated in 1974 before their return in 1979.

All the rest scored in the top division of English football; coming against the best they must be regarded as harder to come by.

Ron Davies is, I’ve heard many say, the finest headerer of a football they’ve seen. Couple that with two of Saints’ finest wingers and you have a recipe for success. In the 1967-68 season he was Division 1′s joint-top scorer with George Best and the next season, after scoring all four (all headers) in a 4-1 win at Old Trafford, Sir Matt Busby said of Davies that he had no peer in Europe.

Keegan only spent two season at The Dell but had to be included simply because he’s Keegan and when he signed for Saints he was the then reigning European Footballer of the Year — something of a coup by McMenemy.

Matt Le Tissier — well, Matt Le Tissier. I’ll just let Xavi, one of the world’s best midfielders currently playing, speak for me: “His talent was simply out of the norm. He could simply dribble past seven or eight players but without speed — he just walked past them. For me he was sensational”.

And while Shearer’s goals-to-game ratio is perhaps surprisingly low he was not the number-one penalty taker as he was at Blackburn, Newcastle and England. He was also very much at the beginning of his career, was clearly improving and going to be world class.

Rickie Lambert does not have the reputation or the history of these names but he is worthy of keeping this company. He scores from anywhere, has great touch and awareness (he has, I believe, 10 assists to his name this season, too) and is more than capable of succeeding in the Premier League, of that I have no doubt. If we can get the equivalent of Paine and Sydenham (Lallana, I think he’ll go very far, and ?) providing for him we might find out exactly how good he could be, but his goals-per-game ratio is likely to drop the more he plays for Saints, certainly if it’s in the top division.

Another comparison, and one that displays the idiocy of the football market, is with Fernando Torres (£50m) and Andy Carroll (£35m) who in recent years have been transferred for a total of £85m. Over the last three seasons (during which time they were transferred to Chelsea and Liverpool respectively) Torres has scored 45 goals in 111 games (0.41 per game), and has just 7 goals in 53 games (0.13) for Chelsea since his big-money move coming at £7.14m per goal.

Carroll has 38 goals in 106 games (0.36 per game) in the same time frame, and eight goals in 42 games (0.19) since his move to Liverpool coming at £4.375m per goal.

Rickie’s 85 goals have come at cost of £11,764. But his goals have helped win one promotion and they are now on the cusp of helping win another promotion, one valued at £90m.

In conclusion: Rickie’s goals aren’t a cost, unlike the other two, they are an investment. And if an investment of £1m helps earn a return of the suggested £90m promotion to the Premier League is worth then that’s just exceptional business. The same can’t be said of the other two.

So, almost a season after his ability was doubted, and with 24 league goals (28 in total) and the Championship Player of the Year award to his name, it’s both hysterical and idiotic to hear Southampton now described by some supporters of other clubs as a ‘one-man team’.

I’m not going to get into the idiocy of that here (that’s for another blog post, which there’s no need to write as fellow Saints fan, blogger and Chris — Chris Rann did a fine job of writing that already). I will say only this: Rickie Lambert’s goals have been a massive part of Saints’ success over the last three seasons, but centre-forwards, Messi included, rely on a midfield to provide them with the ball and with opportunities. All of the great teams in history had a great midfield. For all those who are about to say “you think this Saints team are great do you?” The answer, my friends, in the context of Spain, Brazil, Holland, Barcelona, Man United, Real Madrid et al throughout history is a resounding no — I am merely illustrating my point that no matter how good the strikers, the midfield is integral to their success.

P.S. Being 34 I saw half the players mentioned. I am sure I have missed things. If you feel something’s worth saying, improving or correcting, please leave a comment. Thanks for reading.

P.P.S. All the goals/game stats were taken from Wikipedia.

28 days later…

Where's the Kale? I need kale NOW!

Far from turning into a flesh-eating zombie, I’ve become something even more sinister — a plant-eating weirdo.

For the month of January I went (predominantly) vegan and (not-so predominantly) booze-free, following-ish the Engine 2 diet.

When I started I weighed 190 pounds, 30 pounds (2 stone, basically) more than I wanted to, and am now at 175. Come the end of March, if not before, I should be where I want to be.

I was exercising regularly in the UK (in the gym and running) but would return home and drink beer and eat lovely but weight-gaining foods. Though I was maintaining my fitness I wasn’t shifting weight. It was with this in mind that I decided I had to change my diet. There are many more health reasons, too, for eating a plant-strong diet. Processed meat has been linked to cancers. This chick, Kris Carr, can tell you more than I can, and so can these green-smoothie people, which is how, along with some fresh lemon and lime in water, I start my day.

Since January I have integrated vegan/vegetarian foods into my diet. (I still eat meat, it’s impossible to beat pizza and a bacon cheeseburger).

My health kick has undoubtedly been made easier by living in Vancouver, a city which makes you want to be fitter and more active, and not in the UK where temptation, in the form of a curry house and pub, exists every 10 centimetres. Likewise, not having a world-class tapas restaurant around the corner from my house helps (If you live in Chelmsford and haven’t been to El Chigre then you must. If you don’t live in Chelmsford you should drive there for dinner.), as does not working opposite the wondrous Salim’s on High Road in Ilford, east London.

Also, I was working six days a week with long and late hours. This does make cooking healthy foods more difficult as I was rarely at home. When I was all I wanted to do was sleep. And have a few beers, of course. Consequently I was eating a lot of convenience foods: tapas, curries, kebabs and pizzas. Damn tasty stuff but not exactly helpful in the weight department.

Another food love is sushi, which is everywhere in  Vancouver, and there are great vegetarian options with brown or purple rice. This is helpful in the weight department.

Me passing on my new-found skills to Jake.

In addition to this, I also cranked up my exercise routine. Back in Chelmsford I rarely pushed myself, continuing to run the same distance, and was consuming more calories than I was burning. I run much further now and far more regularly. I recently ran 10k which is without doubt the longest I’ve done in one go, and finally – after years of apathy, cash-flow issues, a lack of being settled, or all of the above – I have joined a kickboxing gym. Never before I have been drilled this hard. When I last played football (soccer if you’re Canadian) to any decent standard we were trained by an ex-marine, who worked us hard, but not as hard as Rey and his gang do at Westside Kickboxing. I love it. And it’s a real bonus that it’s a 10-minute walk away.

There is one even closer but it’s much more like a business and does not list cost on its website.

I was intending on trying both but never went to one because talking to them was more painful than taking a good beating. The pricing strategy is at first enigmatic and at last expensive: when I finally forced them to give me some indication of cost rather than keep saying “it depends,” I baulked at the amount, laughed and left. “I don’t want ‘it depends,’” I countered. “I want a price.” Reasonable enough, I thought.

I digress…

In fact I’ve finished. The point of this blog is that I was surprised how easy it was not to eat meat and dairy for a month, and how by making a few changes to my diet thereafter, (attempting to) drink less and increasing my exercise has resulted in weight loss and more energy.

Ironically I’m writing this hungover, the day after a few too many wobbly pops and a bowl of screaming-hot chicken wings.  As one of my sisters remarked on Facebook to my update that kickboxing with a hangover was going to be painful: “You haven’t so much fallen off the wagon as kicked it to pieces at a drunken kickboxing session.”

Vancouver, six (make that seven now, well, almost eight) weeks in…

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Well, I had planned to start blogging again far sooner and more regularly. This is far from the first time something has taken me far longer than it should have.

However, a quick recap.

• Week 1: Being with Jake, jet-lag, watching hockey and having a few beers.
• Week 2: Being with Jake, jet-lag(ish), applying for lots of jobs, asked for an  interview for a job (online editor of Business in Vancouver) I applied for before leaving the UK, out cycling on my new bike, watching hockey and having a few beers.
• Week 3: Being with Jake, (excellent) interview for job, more bike rides and the occasional jog, applying for the odd job (by that I mean a few jobs, not particularly bizarre ones), chasing up jobs applied for, watching hockey and having a few beers.
• Week 4: Being with Jake, still not heard about job interview… chased up… invited for second interview, Christmas shopping, starting to run most days, watching hockey and having a few beers.
• Week 5: Being with Jake, (pretty good) second interview, Christmas shopping, keeping up the running most days, Erin’s brother and parents are arriving for Crimbo, watching hockey and drinking beers.
• Week 6: Didn’t get job, Jake cleans up for Christmas, still running, watching hockey and drinking beers.
• Week 7: Happy new year! Jake back to school, still running, no-booze and vegan-diet detox for January, watching hockey (and not drinking beers).

First, and most obviously, being with Jacob is fantastic. The first full day I was here I picked him up from school, he came running out and jumped into my arms. It was great. It was emotional. It was wonderful. It was a long time coming. Not even watching hockey and drinking beers can get close to how that felt. Kathryn and I straight away took him for pizza and hot chocolate (weird combo, I know) and the little guy goes: “Dada, I’m so happy you’re here.”

He is an absolute treat. I know all (well, most) parents coo over their kids. “Oh, isn’t he gorgeous…” When the reality is: “No, he looks like Mr Potato Head.” But Jake rules. He’s also dead into potty words. We are now intellectual equals.

It was shame I didn’t the online editor’s job, but coming second to someone who has 10 years’ demonstrable business-to-business journalism experience is not too bad an effort. However, on the first day after the holidays, the company’s VP of digital emailed to ask if we could meet. So, tomorrow (Friday 13 (ooooh)) we are meeting to “discuss potential wider opportunities with Glacier Media.” Sounds interesting.

Today (Thursday 12) I had an interview for a copywriter for an online e-tailer called No More Rack, which sounds more like Katie Price’s last thoughts on exiting a plastic surgeon’s office. Once I’d finished laughing at the absurdity of being given a pair of sparkling gold high heels and a bra to write product descriptions for I donned my trash-mag hat and went for it. Needless to say I will not pitching it to the Sunday Times Style magazine. Still, it was fun and would pay the bills.

My diet and detox is going remarkably well (I ran 8km the other day and can get into a pair of suit trousers I haven’t beenable to wear in almost two years). Being unemployed has given me the luxury of time to make vegan food taste nice. My favourite so far was a lentil curry dip. Would you like to know the recipe? Ok, then I’ll tell you… I boiled some lentils until they were soft, while in a frying pan I gently dry-fried an onion, red pepper, jalapeno, 3-4 garlic cloves and added garam massala, fennel seeds, ground ginger, cumin and chilli powder. I then combined the two pans, blitzed the hell out of it in a food processor and then added chopped coriander (cilantro as it must be called over here, or you get a blank stare) and a squeeze of lemon juice. It was rather delightful.

And come the end of this month, Renee – Erin’s sister – moves into her new apartment so Jake will be able to have his own room; after quite a few years we can at last live like a family. Good times.

If you’re still with me you deserve a treat. Here is Jake bustin’ some moves…

NHL First-round playoff matches

This was written before the start of the playoffs, but for one reason or another its publication was delayed. Once the games were under way I saw no point in publishing. In fact, I had no plans to publish at all as it would be out of date; however, given that I got every winning side, if not the scores, correct I thought I’d bang it up.

So, for those of you interested in hockey, here you go…

And for those of you (yes, you, Rhys!) bitter about not mentioning certain players or frailties of certain teams, moan away in the comments section!

Eastern conference:

Washington Capitals (1) vs. New York Rangers (8)
Season series: Rangers 3-1

The Rangers thrashed the Caps in two of their three regular-season victories,  beating them 7-0 at home in December and 6-0 in Washington in late February. After the home defeat to the Rangers, the Caps went on a 16-3-1 (wins, losses, overtime losses) roll to finish atop the Eastern Conference.

Despite their two hammerings of the Caps, the Rangers just squeezed into the playoffs by virtue of beating New Jersey last Saturday while Carolina lost to Tampa Bay. They wouldn’t be the first team, however, to just make the cut and surprise a few there after (see Montreal Canadiens last year).

With star forward Ryan Callahan injured for the Rangers, much rests on goaltender Henrik Lundqvist, who led the NHL in shutouts. The Caps, though, led up front by the formidable Alex “The Great” Ovechkin, and supported by the talents of Nicklas Backstrom and Alex Semin should have too much offensive power for the Rangers.

The Caps did choke last year in the first round, losing to Montreal, and that failure could weigh on their mind. If Lundqvist can keep them at bay, talented – but inconsistent – Rangers forwards Marian Gaborik and Wojtek Wolski could help spring a surprise, especially as the Caps are somewhat lacking a top-class goaltender. Michal Neuvirth will start in goal for the Caps.

Prediction: Washington to win 4-2

Philadelphia Flyers (2) vs. Buffalo Sabres (7)
Season series: Tied 2-2

The Flyers were leading both the Eastern Conference and NHL for a while, but  stumbled at the end of the season, with a run of 8-8-7 in their last 23 games. They conceded first seeding in the East to the Caps and just won the Atlantic Division title, holding off Pittsburgh. They hope to have All-Star Canadian defenseman Chris Pronger back in the line-up after he broke his hand. His talent, experience, and considerable size, will be essential if they are to repeat – or better – last year’s feat of getting to the Stanley Cup final.

Despite the Flyers stuttering form they are, as last season’s run to the Stanley Cup final proves, a side who thrives post season. They were also the top scorers in the East with 259 goals. The Flyers top three lines have all racked up points this year and have all be quite consistent. Claude Giroux led them in scoring with 25 goals and 76 points.

In contrast the Sabres stormed into the postseason, winning 28 games since the turn of the year. They lost 11 of the remaining 17 and picked up six points in 6 overtime losses. Ryan Miller, the league’s best goaltender last year, is fit again after missing four games with an upper-body injury. They will need him to be on form as it is the one area where they better the Flyers, who will start Sergei Bobrovsky over Brian Boucher.

Up top they do not possess the depth in attacking options of their opponents, though Drew Stafford had a breakthrough year with 31 goals. Thomas Vanek found the net 32 times but his form has been variable; he has the talent but will need to be consistent if the Sabres are to mount a playoff push. Similarly, defence is a weakness for the Sabres. They lack the All-Star quality of their opponents

All in all the Flyers should prove too strong: though not a walkover, I think it will be a comfortable series win for the Flyers.

Prediction: Philadelphia to win 4-2
Boston Bruins (3) vs. Montreal Canadiens (6)
Season series: Canadiens 4-2

Northeast Division rivals and the NHL’s most-frequent playoff match (the two have met 31 times previously in the post season): this promises to be a great series.  Montreal won four of the six division matches this season, but the Bruins won the last two meetings between the sides, a 7-0 thrashing in March and a penalty-laden 8-6 victory in February.

This is a game of contrasts, which is why it promises to be a playoff classic. The Canadiens are smaller and faster; the Bruins have the bulk. Expect hits, penalties, and fights as the bad blood (already evident between fans on message boards) spills over onto the ice.

Neither side has a particularly fearsome offense. Boston will be without creative centre Marc Savard and aside from Milan Lucic’s 30 goals there’s not a huge amount else of note, and the Canadiens only had three forwards who hit 20-plus goals. Michael Camilleri did not have a great season, but his post-season stats last year, 19 points in 19 games, should give him and the Montreal squad some hope.

The Canadiens will need goaltender Carey Price to be on top form as his opposite number, Tim Thomas, is regarded as one of the best in the league. The eighth seeds last year, who stunned everyone with their defeat of the top-seeded Washington Capitals in their run to the Conference finals, will again need to produce stunning form to progress past Boston. I expect the Bruins to win simply because they’ll beat up their opponents.

Prediction: Boston to win 4-3

Pittsburgh Penguins (4) vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (5)
Season series: Tied 2-2

This tie is, without being cruel on the rest of the (talented) squads, a tale of two forwards apiece: Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin of the Penguins, and Steven Stamkos and Martin St. Louis of the Lightning.

Crosby is arguably the best player in the world. He has won all trophies the NHL offers (aside from goaltending), is the youngest captain (aged 19) to lift the Stanley Cup, when the Penguins beat Detroit in 2009, and won Olympic gold with Canada in 2010. Malkin is almost as good. But the Penguins lost Malkin for the season two months ago and Crosby has not played for three months. He is skating again but has not been cleared for contact. The Penguins defence, backed up by the excellent goaltender Marc Andre Fleury, have stood firm to compensate for these losses.

In contract, the Lightning, in Stamkos (45 goals and 91 points (assists plus goals)) and St Louis (68 assists and 99 points), have the firepower to go deep in the playoffs. Then there’s forward Vincent Lecavalier, who led the Bolts to the 2004 Cup, and veteran goaltender Dwayne Roloson who went to the Stanley Cup final with Edmonton in 2006. Defensively, though, they are not as strong.

Despite two final appearances for the Penguins in the last three years it is hard to see how, without Crosby and Malkin, they can mount a sustained challenge. Hope does exist in this tie, though: the Lighting have conceded (240) almost as many as they have scored (247), whereas Pittsburgh have a +37 goal difference and being the higher seed means they will start with home-ice advantage.

Prediction: Tampa Bay to win 4-2

Western Conference:

Vancouver Canucks (1) vs. Chicago Blackhawks (8)
Season series: Tied 2-2.

For the third season in a row these two will renew their playoff rivalry. In both 2009 and 2010 the Blackhawks, the reigning Stanley Cup champions, beat the Canucks in the Conference semi-finals.

This year the stats look very good for Vancouver. They scored a league-leading 262 goals and conceded the fewest (185). Daniel Sedin’s 104-point campaign ensured the Art Ross Trophy (for the league’s top scorer) stayed in the family after twin Henrik won it last year, and he notched a remarkable league-high 75 assists this campaign.  They were the only team to win more than 50 times and to lose less than 20 in regulation. Creative up front, defensively strong and with Canadian Gold-medal winning Roberto Luongo in goal they have all the components to win the Stanley Cup.

The Blackhawks underwent major surgery after their Cup win last year as they opted to rebuild around their talented young core. These include left-winger and this season’s top scorer Patrick Kane, with 34 goals, while captain Jonathan Toews netted 32 times. Marian Hossa notched an impressive 25 goals in just 65 games. The fact they just squeezed into the playoffs on the last day (due to Dallas losing and not them winning) suggests that major surgery was not necessary.

The Canucks top-six defencemen, including Sami Salo, Christian Erhoff and Dan Hamhuis, are probably the best unit in the league, and certainly deeper than the  Blackhawks blue-line, which still contains the talented trio Brent Seabrook, Duncan Keith and Brian Campbell. They will be backed up by rookie Corey Crawford who has taken the number one spot from inconsistent veteran Marty Turco.

Despite the Canucks being the favourites (for the Cup and not just this tie) the Presidents Trophy (awarded to the NHL’s top-ranked side) tends to weigh heavy with expectation and they have their own demons to exercise – the Blackhawks. The Canucks should win, but history and pressure could be their undoing.

Prediction: Canucks to win 4-2.

San Jose Sharks (2) vs. Los Angeles Kings (7)
Season series: Tied 3-3.

This is an intriguing match-up that could go all the way to the seventh game: the Sharks have superior offensive power but the Kings have the stronger defence.

The Sharks’ top line of centre Joe Thornton and wingers Dany Heatley and Patrick Marleau (all Canadian internationals) is on paper a devastating combination, but this year they have, as a unit, scored less points than last year. Rookie Logan Couture, who has had an excellent season with 32 goals, and with left-winger Ryan Clowe have the potential to score if the top line is not firing on all cylinders.

That the Kings will be without leading scorer Anze Kopitar serves only to weaken an already outgunned offensive match-up. Kopitar’s 25 goals and 48 assists will be sorely missed. Dustin Penner, acquired from Edmonton, has netted just twice in 19 games for the Kings.

Aside from the impressive Dan Boyle in defence, the Sharks are a little lopsided, and this is where they could fall down in the long run. Whereas the Kings blue-liners of – amongst others – Jack Johnson, Drew Doughty and Willie Mitchell offer a strong combination of youth, experience and talent. Both have strong goaltenders – Antti Niemi for the Sharks, who won the Cup with Chicago last year, and the Kings have the young Jonathan Quick – and both will need to be at their best if their side is to win. This is a tough one to call, but despite their defensive question marks the Sharks should have enough up front to win the tie.

Prediction: Sharks to win 4-3.

Detroit Red Wings (3) vs. Phoenix Coyotes (6)
Season series: Tied 2-2.

The Red Wings squad might be close to drawing their pensions but they keep winning and they keep scoring, 261 times to be exact – bettered only by the Canucks. The mercurial and wily Henrik Zetterberg has 24 and the skilful Pavel Datsyuk 23. In defence their average age does not dwindle, but neither does the ability. At 41 Nicklas Lidstrom continues to be sensational, making up in positional play with what he now lacks in speed. Brian Rafalski and Brad Stuart, too, are talented blue-liners.

The Coyotes have no real offensive stars but their forwards do not lack bite, with 11 players netting in double figures, but Shane Doan being the only one to reach 20.  Taylor Pyatt and Ray Whitney are also very dangerous on their day, but there is a lot to be said for a team who can score consistently from a number of lines – especially against an ageing defence and, indeed, an ageing team.

The talented and underrated 24-year-old defenceman Keith Yandle is the baby in a veteran Phoenix defence that includes Adrian Aucoin, Derek Morris and Ed Jovanovski. The Red Wings netminder Jimmy Howard is considered a weak link but his stats, 37-17-5 and goals against per game average of 2.79, suggest otherwise. Similarly, the ‘Yotes Ilya Bryzgalov has a record of 36-20-10 with seven shutouts.

This is an intriguing match-up of two ostensibly ageing sides. Despite the Coyotes having the edge in age up front, the skill and power and playoff experience of the Red Wings should prove too much to handle.

Prediction: Red Wings to win 4-2

Anaheim Ducks (4) vs. Nashville Predators (5)
Season series: Predators won 3-1.

Another nicely balanced tie pits the Ducks mighty offense, which includes Corey Perry who led the league with 50 goals, against the second-meanest defence,  marshalled by the Preds captain Shea Webber.

The Ducks have an awesome foursome up top – Perry, Ryan Getzlaf, Teemu Selanne and Bobby Ryan – who have enough points between them to take the Ducks deep into the playoffs. However, six sides in the Western Conference, two of which didn’t make the playoffs, scored more than the Ducks and their defence shipped 235 goals – only five teams in the West conceded more – leaving them with a plus-four goal difference. Luca Sbisa and Cam Fowler are considered great young defensive talents but neither has any NHL playoff experience, but they do have a number of experienced blue-liners, including the solid Lubomir Visnovsky who racked up 68 points.

By contrast the Preds top scorers were wingers Sergei Kostitsyn (23) and Patric Hornqvist (21). Clearly Nashville are outgunned. However, they are undoubtedly better equipped defensively – and they will need to be. Webber will be in the running for the Norris Trophy as the league’s best blue-liner. Shane O’Brien, who was traded by the Canucks, and Ryan Suter are two other top defenceman.

But their biggest advantage comes between the pipes. They will need world-class stopper Pekka Rinne to be on top of his game, and his regular season form suggests he will be. For the Ducks, number one goaltender Jonas Hiller has been out for two months and his back up, Ray Emery, is also injured so stopgap, and former Pred, Dan Ellis will start. If Nashville can put pressure on Ellis and if the Ducks play like a team who know they need to protect their netminder then they will be playing a different game and could lose their offensive edge and give the Preds an advantage.

Because of this and also that Nashville had the upper hand in the regular season, I’m tipping the Preds to win.

Prediction: Nashville to win 4-2

Kevin Pietersen: so good he won the Ashes all by himself…

You know what – I have never said this before – I lost the captaincy, I got rid of the captaincy for the good of English cricket, and we would not be here today if I had not done what I did then. There is no way in this world that we would have succeeded under that regime and would have won the Ashes again in Australia after 24 years. Andrew Strauss and Andy Flower need all the plaudits for an unbelievable 18 months and an unbelievable preparation for this team, and they are the right leadership for this team.

This quote is from the Guardian’s interview with KP: ‘Kevin Pietersen says his rebellion helped forge England Ashes triumph’.

I could have stopped the quote at the end of the first sentence, which would have slightly skewed the meaning. However, the underlying message is that had KP not resigned – sorry, stepped down, or should that be resigned? I’m not sure and, apparently, neither is he – then we would not have won the Ashes.

I can't hear you - validate me louder! Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images (I am aware that just by crediting the photo, I'm not absolved of copyright infringement).

Arrogance? No. It appears remarkably arrogant but it is something else. KP has long be defined as a ‘confidence player’, which is true, and herein lies the explanation to this quite remarkable quote and interview, and his ego in general. As confidence – in all its manifestations – is so important to “the World’s greatest batsman”, so is validation. KP lacks confidence, he does not exude it.

His very public spat with former England coach Peter Moores and now this interview both smack of a man so in need of validation, an arm around him to say: “well done, Kev. Had you not aired your dirty laundry in public, behaved despicably and shown as much leadership as General Melchett we would never have won the Ashes Down Under for the first time in 24 years. Bravo, Darling!”

Here’s the reaction to his public spat with Peter Moores. It’s not a good read, KP. Here is what former England pace bowler Andrew Caddick had to say about it:

It’s all been about him, the Pietersen Show.

It’s a sad day for English cricket – that’s the way he is, he doesn’t think things through, he’s off the cuff as far as his captaincy and his attitude are concerned. For trying to build a Test team, it’s not the way to do things.

Backstabbing and going behind someone’s back to the press rather than to their face – you can’t have it in the dressing room.

KP is like the child who starts to play up when their siblings are getting the attention. Strauss, Flower, Cook, Trott, Bell and the bowling attack are having praised heaped on them – now KP wants his, too! “Look, look what I did. If I hadn’t been an incompetent leader…”

And while he praises Andy Flower and Andrew Strauss for unifying the team, he omits to mention he wanted Flower sacked along with Moores. Also, I don’t need to be told the obvious. Nor does anybody. We all know and have acknowledged their dedication and achievements. I suggest he only said this to avoid sounding self indulgent. He failed.

The article also states:

He was asked if Strauss had proved himself a better captain than Pietersen himself would have proved. “That is such a difficult question,” he said. “Who knows?

Surely, Kevin, your point is that he is the better captain. After all, had it not been for your magnanimous decision to “stand down” then we would have lost this series. Knowing that Strauss was the better choice, in a moment of true altruism – a trait so dominant in your flawless character – you stepped aside to let the better captain lead. No? Oh, and there was I…

This should signal his booting out of the England team but, alas, it will not. In fact, given the depth of the squad and young talent pushing for places (Davis, Shahzad, Rashid, Morgan and more), I can see a scenario in which Pietersen, batting at 6, has a great few years. Six is the perfect position for him, a position which allows him to be – as CMJ finally realised the other night – the world-class slogger he is, and bat without responsibility – providing the top five have done their job.

And though his average in this Ashes series is 64.80, having scored 324 runs in five innings, 227 runs of those came in one go, and in a match – as I pointed out here – that England would have won blindfolded. Subtracting this innings, he has scored 94 runs in four other attempts, averaging 24.25.

There is absolutely no need to say what he did. No need at all. It detracts from the team’s achievements and it further detracts from Pietersen’s character.

Please read the Guardian’s article and let me know what you think.

My wicket, my wicket, a double hundred for my wicket (Drop KP – he’s crap)

Ok, it’s been a while since my last blog – too long, in fact.

Oh no, why does Chris think I'm awful? This is very upsetting.

Given that I’ve not said much for a while, I figured I might as well blurt out a contentious opinion.

Kevin Pietersen is useless and should be dropped.

This much-vaunted prodigy, often held up as the hero of English cricket, is in my mind one of the worst cricketers of all time. To say he is talentless would be wrong; indeed, his undoubted talent is one of the main reasons why he awful. KP has all the talent in the world, but little idea how to use it. So often he gets himself in and then gets himself out for 30 or 4o. Or he’ll get his 50 and then fall for 60-odd trying a reverse sweep off an inswinging yorker.

With a Test average of 48.51 you may think I’m being harsh. And only recently he scored 227 as England blew away Australia in Adelaide, a knock which displayed great ability. It was, however, his first century for England since March 2009.

And then only days later in Perth did we see why KP does not deserve to play Test cricket for England. Yes, I’m aware no England batsmen did anything in that match, but this was far from the first time he has failed. This match, for me, typified why he should be dropped.

“England’s most talented batsman” (which he is) needs to come out and score a double hundred when his side are in trouble, not when his side could win a Test match blindfolded.

What separates true world-class ability from talent and potential is the ability to perform under pressure, to perform when  it is most needed. England would have won the second Test without Pietersen’s double century, of that I have no doubt. But how different a result in Perth would we have seen if he’d have got one there, instead of 0 and 3?

For the next Test I would also rest a very tired Steven Finn who, at 21, is a remarkable talent. He’s been expensive but he’s also taken wickets – there is a lot more to come from him.

So, here’s my 11 for the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne:

Strauss
Cook
Trott
Bell
Collingwood
Morgan
Prior
Swann
Tremlett
Anderson
Shahzad

Collingwood is also under pressure but has performed more consistently over the years than KP and can be trusted to fight and not throw his wicket away in quite the same spectacular manner as Pietersen. Bell’s performances should get him promoted to four. If the openers do their job he won’t be exposed to the new ball.

Morgan is a definite gamble at Test level, but like KP he has the talent to score quickly and so deserves his chance. Also, I think batting is not  - despite the debacle in Perth – England’s main concern.

I would take  Shahzad because he has genuine pace and talent, and can swing the ball both ways. Bresnan is a steady bowler and useful with the bat, but he is not a match winner. Also, as this Beeb article points out, Shahzad is good against left handers and – let’s face it – without Hussey, Australia would have scored about 12 runs in 3 Tests.

I would be delighted to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below… Also, here’s some aggregated content using Qrait.

Cooking with Chris…

After almost three hours in the kitchen, here’s what I cooked. Erin and I then enjoyed some with beer and a side order of Flight of the Conchords…

1, Mum’s Cottage Pie

I fondly remember from childhood how my mum would sometimes cook a cottage pie with baked beans – it was comfort food multiplied by comfort food!

Ok, here’s how I made it. I fried two coarsley chopped red onions with lean steak mince. When the mince was browned, I added two tins of baked beans and some beef gravy and stirred it all together. Pop it in a baking dish, add the mashed potato and spread evenly with a fork (it helps the potato go crispy) and bake at about 200 deg C (that was in a fan oven). It was then served on a bed of curly kale from the Old Man’s allotment.

Et, voila…

2, (Experimental) Autumn Soup

Using the wonderful carrot and coriander soup as the inspiration, I added squash, ginger, and chilli.

And here’s how I did it…

Using equal amounts of butternut squash and carrot (I had about 750g of both), I added a bit of butter and seasoned with salt and pepper and then roasted, for about 45 minutes to an hour, on 180-200 C (350-400 deg F).

When done, I took it out, let it cool and gently fried in olive oil a good hunk (just like me – hehehehe) of peeled ginger, two home-grown mild chillis and one-and-a-half large red onions. When ready – when it was all going a golden colour – I took it off the heat and popped it in the food processor with the roasted carrots and squash and fresh bunch of coriander.

I gradually added 1.5ltr of veg stock to the veg as I blended it, poured it all back into the stock pot and gently heated it all through while stirring. And here, my friends, is a photo of the finished product…

3, Spaghetti Bolognaise

First off, credit for this recipe must go to my friends Ben and Maria. It was they who taught me how to cook this. There are probably millions of ‘authentic’ Bolognaise recipes, but I love this one and am happy it was taught to me by an Italian.

Ben, Maria, if I’ve bastardised this recipe, please forgive me, but here’s how I cooked it…

I browned lean steak mince (450g) in plenty of olive oil. In the blender, I pulped three, carrots, three sticks of celery and two red onions. Essentially, you need equal amounts of these three ingredients which, added together, equate to the same weight as the minced steak.

When the minced steak is almost browned, add the pulped vegetables. You should cook this on a medium heat until the fluid has been boiled off. Next, don’t hold back, and add a good slug of white wine. Stir it around and let the flavours combine. By now I had also blended two tins of tomatoes.

Add the blended toms, stir, and then reduce till you have a damn fine tasty spaghetti sauce that looks like this…

The comedy capers of Portsmouth Football Club

Poor old Pompey, eh?

What’s happening at the wrong end of the M27 is, above all the stupidity and profoundly poor fiscal management, absolutely hilarious.

I can’t get the Benny Hill music and sped-up film out of my head as I visualise the meetings between Gaydamak, the club and its administrator Andrew Andronikou.

And do you know where Benny Hill (Wilmo, if you’re reading, he qualifies as a comedy legend…) was born?

…Southampton! He grew up in Wilton Road, which is spitting distance from where the Dell once stood.

Meanwhile, back at Fratton Park…

I don’t for one minute believe the club will be wound up as then everybody will lose, especially Gaydamak, who is rumoured to be the one screwing the talks up with his financial demands.

And, controversially some might say, I don’t want to see them go out of business: every football team and fan needs a local rival.

And Pompey’s fans, even though they support Portsmouth, don’t deserve this. After all, it’s not their fault Redknapp, Storrie, Mandaric and about 300 other owners/board members so monumentally buggered up the management of the club; living beyond their means in way that not even the Lehamnn Brothers could have envisaged.

But they do need to be made an example of.

Every asset should be stripped, sold and creditors repaid an agreed amount in the pound and they should be sent to the Blue Square and told to start all over again. (Hmmm, that sounds suspiciously like being wound up to me! Oh well, maybe they should be then!)

Someone could pick them up for a quid (I’d expect change) and start all over again. This is exactly the sort of challenge I loved when I used to play Championship Manager. That’s not me applying for the job, by the way.

The measly nine points deducted by that moron Scudamore and the Premier League was a shambles. They should have been shafted like Luton were (only they weren’t in the Prem, were they Scudamore you scumbag?), docked 30 points and not been able to opt to lose them in a season in which they were already relegated.

The club has been treated better than many, sorry all, others that have been in administration. They have been given extra time and every possible opportunity to sort themselves out and still they can’t.

See, there they go again, running round a boardroom table chasing money from each other with this tune playing…